


Fictober 2019 Round Up

by bohemianqueen



Category: Law & Order: SVU, Mayans M.C. (TV)
Genre: Allusions to Violence, Alternate Universe, Angst, Cozy, F/F, F/M, Gen, Halloween, M/M, Magic, Multi, Mythology References, Profanity, Strong Language, Supernatural Elements, Vampires, Werewolves, allusions to sexual impotence, healing together, wine tasting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-12 18:51:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 14,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21481144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bohemianqueen/pseuds/bohemianqueen
Summary: unbetaed (as usual). each chapter is a different fill. some of the fills overlap from 'verses I have running on my tumblr. mosey on over there to find my masterlists and more fun.
Relationships: Casey Novak/Carmen (SVU), Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr./Female Reader, Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr./Miguel Galindo, Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr./Reader, Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr./You, Nick Amaro/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr., Nick Amaro/Female Reader, Nick Amaro/Reader, Nick Amaro/You, Olivia Benson/Alexandra Cabot, Peter Stone/Rafael Barba/Mike Dodds, Sonny Carisi/Carmen (SVU)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 18
Collections: Fictober19





	1. It will be fun, trust me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny Carisi x Reader; bonnie&clyde!au

“I can’t believe that worked,” you said half to yourself and half to Sonny in the backseat. A glance at your rearview mirror assured you that you weren’t being chased down by a squad car, but you kept your foot steady on the accelerator anyways. Speeding up now could be a fatal mistake, but you itched with the desire to ditch your clothes and the car and put miles and miles between you and this town.

“Holy shit,” Sonny breathed in response. When you glanced in the mirror again you watched as he massaged the angry red bands around his wrist. They were a lingering reminder of the cuffs he’d had on until you’d tossed the keys into his laps moments after backing out of the precinct parking lot. He looked over his shoulder, craning to no doubt check for the same thing you were, before face forward again and slouching in his seat.

“I told you we shouldn’t have done that job.” Your words were tight. Feeling a heavyweight on your chest you rolled down the windows. The wind danced across your face and you began to breathe a little deeper. Your heart had been hammering so badly when you’d walked into the building, the picture of ease and city importance, that you were sure someone else would hear it and see through your facade.

“You’re a genius,” Sonny responded. He had a wide grin on his face and despite the dark circles under his eyes his face seemed to light up. “I can’t believe you just…waltzed in there and they bought it! What a bunch of backward, stupid hi—”

“Not stupid enough to catch you,” you interrupted sharply.

He shrugged and laughed, not taken aback by your tone or the reminder that he’d just spent the night in jail. Maybe he had always known you’d find a way to get him out. Maybe he’d gotten more than a scant two hours of sleep, although the dark circles said otherwise. All you knew was that you’d worried the skin of your cuticles on both hands, nearly worn a hole in the carpet and then did the stupidest thing you’d ever done in your life to get him free. It had worked, but you had a feeling you’d paid the higher cost of his momentary loss of freedom.

“You’ve always been smarter than me.” Light and off-hand. It was an obvious attempt to deflect and stop the argument before it arose.

You fumbled with the badge and tossed it in the passenger seat before rummaging for the pack of cigarettes you’d picked up and stowed in the glove box. It was lit and you were exhaling shakily when you caught his frown in the mirror as you turned the corner and continued to where you’d stashed your car.

“Smart is not me impersonating a federal agent and then demanding your release,” you said darkly before bringing the cigarette to your mouth. “Smart would have been leaving you there.” 

“The last thing you said before this shit went sideways was, ’It will be fun, trust me.’” You scoffed and shook your head as the wind whipped through your hair. “Not my idea of fun, Sonny.” It was a warning, your tone as much as the flash of your eyes in the mirror locked in on his again.

He sat up straighter before clamoring over the console and into the passenger seat. The cigarette was plucked from your fingers and he had slid it between his lips and squinted over at you in the time it took you to turn the next corner.

“You were right,” he admitted around a smoky exhale. Another half of a shrug. “It was stupid and a poorly thought out plan.” Quiet as you rolled up to a stoplight. “Thank you,” he said sincerely.

“Thank the Lord their systems aren’t advanced enough to pull up credentials with a picture,” you retorted. 

The fake papers you’d drawn up were on the floor under his feet and the polyester grey suit you’d found at a thrift store in the early morning was starting to make you sweat. It was just this side of too big and combined with the ill-fitting white button-up shirt it had painted the picture of weary federal agent picking up a wanted criminal. Somehow you’d talked your way around the fact that you were alone and Sonny had been released into your ‘custody.’ If they ever found out who you really were you’d have real federal agents in your rearview one day.

Sonny snagged your hand and brought your knuckles to his mouth as he pulled the cigarette away and tossed it out the window. Grasping you in both of his hands he pressed a gentle kiss to the skin and then caressed them.

“I’m sorry.”

You sagged into the seat, tenseness finally leaking out of your spine, and pursed your lips. A quick glance at his face confirmed his sincerity.

“Don’t do it again,” you said simply.

“Next time, I promise I won’t get caught.”

He’d been caught creating a diversion for you to get away and that truth was churning up acid in your stomach. This life couldn’t go on like this, but it was the only thing you’d known since leaving home. New York was close, really close this time and not the close you whispered to each other at night in reassurance and reminder. There would be real opportunities there and everything of your life before that would disappear into the teeming masses.


	2. Just follow me, I know the area.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny Carisi x Nick Amaro; titanic!au

“Just follow me,” Sonny repeated as he tugged Nick behind him with a grip on his wrist. “I know the area.”

“The area—Sonny, no one is even up here. We’re probably not supposed to be either.”

Nick looked around the stairwell. They hadn’t passed another passenger in ages, despite it being the prime time for everyone to be out and milling about to take in some fresh air before dinner. Their footsteps seemed loud and Nick was convinced that any moment now someone would catch them and they’d end up trouble. That’s what had him dragging his feet and continuing to look over his shoulder even as Sonny urged him up and up and up.

“Will you trust me?” Sonny tossed over his shoulder in exasperation. “When have I led you astray?”

Nick bit his lip on the retort he wanted to let fly. If you asked Nicolas, there were /plenty/ of ways Sonny had been leading Nick astray. Although, it was only the fact that Nicolas did not, indeed, know of any of these rendezvous that kept Sonny alive.

“It’s just—dinner will be soon and I have to get back to change and…” Nick’s voice trailed off as Sonny suddenly opened the door in front of them and they spilled out.

It was a small deck, of sorts. Well, deck was being generous. It was a space probably six feet by six feet on what appeared to be the topmost portion of the deck, if you disregarded the watch baskets high up on poles. There was a railing that kept them from immediately pitching over, but nothing else. Clearly this was meant for crew and not passengers. Right now, though, it was just him and Sonny.

“Wow,” Nick breathed. “That’s a first-class view.” He gazed out over the ship and beyond to the front of the ship as it cut through the water neatly. The horizon stretched all around them and in the distance they could just make out where the sun was beginning to dip low in the sky. The view was breathtaking and with them so far removed from the other decks the only sound up here was their own breathing in their ears and the whistling wind as it tugged at their coats. Nick pulled his closer across his chest and stepped towards the railing and strained to see down onto the ship.

“Not bad for a third-class man, huh?”

When Nick turned to look over at Sonny in shock he caught a self-deprecating smile teasing around his mouth. He shook his head.

“Sonny. That’s not what I meant at all.”  
Sonny inclined his head, but it wasn’t quite agreement. Turning he looked out over the ship and into the distance. His hands were shoved deep into his pockets and the sleeves of the coat he was wearing climbed up his arms. Too small and too thin. Nick made a mental note to try to get him something better, although Sonny’s pride would probably prevent him from taking it.

“It’s not,” he insisted as he drew up close to Sonny and pressed his shoulder against him. “You’re the—you’re best man on this ship, Dominick Carisi, Jr. I’ll tell anyone who asks,” he added fiercely.

Sonny looked over with a wry expression, but his eyes had softened.

“Let’s not get hasty now,” he cautioned. “Some things it’s okay if they’re just between you and me.”

He offered his hand to Nick and they threaded their fingers together and watched as the sun slipped beneath the blanket of the expansive sea.


	3. Now? Now you listen to me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex Cabot x Olivia Benson

The sounds of Alex letting herself into the apartment were noisy. Bag hung on the hook by the door with the sound of leather on wood, the apartment door shutting loudly, keys tossed in the basket on the side table and heels toed off and left askew just to the right of the entryway. Olivia put a bookmark in her book and pulled her glasses down the bridge of her nose as she looked up in expectation.

“You were right,” Alex greeted her tightly as she shed her blazer over the back of the couch. “I should have stayed home and read a book.”

Olivia gestured for her to come closer as she pulled her legs up to make space for Alex on the couch. With a comforting slide of her hand over tense shoulders, she pulled her wife back into her chest and hooked her chin over her shoulder.

“Now? Now you listen to me?” Olivia teased lightly. She smoothed her hand down Alex’s arm and then intertwined their fingers. 

Alex relaxed in slow increments back into Olivia. She was breathing hard through her nose, usually the telltale sign she’d just told someone off and made a dramatic exit. The meet and greet, or ‘mix and mingle’ as it had been billed, they’d been invited to didn’t sound like a bit of fun. Olivia had opted out immediately, citing a long week, tired feet and less than a desire to paste on a smile and ‘mingle’ with other people discussing the limitations of the law in the context of international sex crimes. There were some things that just weren’t on the top of her list and despite her interest in the issues, the RSVP list had told her everything she needed to know.

“I just—I wanted to meet other like-minded people so I can stop talking your ear off all the time,” Alex mumbled in frustration. “But it was more of a gossip session about who prosecutes what sex crimes cases in the different bureaus and whether or not they’re good at their job and blah blah blah. Not details of cases, mind you that would actually be interesting—although illegal, no, it was ‘so and so wears grey suits when she thinks she’s going to lose and never wears any make-up and my God would it kill her to clean up her appearance and—‘ on and on. There wasn’t enough wine in that bar for me to stay and listen to /that/,” Alex bit out.

“I don’t mind listening to you,” Olivia reminded her. “I like seeing you get all riled.” She cracked a teasing grin and squeezed Alex’s arm. “And I know it’s important to you. Let me ask around. I’m sure we can find a group of people actually interested in talking law instead of gossiping.”

“Thank you,” Alex muttered. She turned slightly and buried her nose in Olivia’s neck. “Want to take my mind off of how awful it was…I’ll do all the work.”  
Olivia shifted and tossed her book to the floor.

“I think that can be arranged, counselor.”


	4. I know you didn’t ask for this.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick Amaro x Reader; motorcycleclub!au

You watched with wide eyes as Nick was led to a seat on the other side of the plexiglass in front of you. He looked unharmed and you let a small sigh of relief escape through lips you’d been biting. Aside from the beard that was growing out of its usual clean shape and the general air of fatigue around him he looked like the same Nick to you.

He picked up the phone and you did the same.

“I told you not to come.”

“You told Razor to tell me not to come,” you replied much more evenly than you thought you were capable of. Snake had been dogging your steps ever since Nick was arrested and with you officially unemployed you’d had plenty of time to think. Finally, you’d told Snake he was going to have to tie you up or come with you. So here you were.

“I know you didn’t ask for this.” He looked resigned and you leaned forward and slapped your left hand against the glass.

“Yes, I did.” You flipped your hand over and with your thumb swept against your engagement ring on your ring finger.

A faint smile, barely there, swept across his mouth and was gone in the next moment. You held his eye and tilted your chin up. It wouldn’t do any good for him to see you distraught and worry about you on top of everything else.

“What do we do next?” You made sure to emphasize the ‘we’ and he shifted forward. His hand came up to the place on the other side of where yours was and you ached with the desire to touch him.

“We wait.”


	5. I might just kiss you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casey Novak x Carmen

“I think I’m going to become a criminal,” Casey announced as she let herself into the apartment.

Carmen looked up from the television and stretched forward to reach the remote to mute the volume. In response, she just quirked her eyebrow as she watched her girlfriend shed her coat, blazer, and shoes by the door. Briefcase still in hand she strode over to the chair next to the couch and dropped it down heavily before turning and making a beeline to the kitchen.

“It’ll be easier,” Casey called from the kitchen.

Carmen could hear the sound of a cabinet door opening and closing and the gentle clink of a glass being set on the counter. Unfolding her legs she stood and followed the sounds. She made an encouraging noise for Casey to continue.

“I just—what am I supposed to do? Three years!?” She poured wine into her glass sloppily and recorked it with jerky movements. “I’m going to lose my mind if this is all I do for the next two and a half years.” She gestured at large to the room and Carmen understood her meaning. “Clerking under some smarmy, washed-up guy who wouldn’t know the Constitution from his elbow. I’d rather rob a bank.”

She took a large swig of her glass and set her frustrated gaze on Carmen. In response, Carmen made a sympathetic face and drifted closer. Now that words weren’t tumbling out of her like a cabinet full of hastily stacked containers it was safe to enter into her orbit. She opened her arms and enveloped Casey in a solid hug. Harsh breathing assailed her ears and Casey’s chest was heaving from anger, but she returned the embrace after a moment.

“Sorry to just…dump all over you like that,” Casey apologized as they pulled apart. She looked away briefly and the apologetic tone was mirrored by the regretful twist of her lips.

“I understand,” Carmen replied gently.

She brought up her hands to Casey’s shoulders and offered her a small smile.

“I have tacos from your favorite place keeping warm in the oven and margaritas in the fridge for if when you finish your wine. Or drink both, I’m certainly not going to stop you.”

Casey laughed and shook her head as she met Carmen’s eye again.

“Can you imagine?” she asked wryly.

Carmen mimed zipping her lips and Casey’s smile became less forced.

“That all sounds perfect.” Casey’s response was heartfelt and she wrapped an arm around Carmen’s waist again. “I might just kiss you.”

“And I didn’t even mention the deep-fried cinnamon ice cream in the freezer,” Carmen replied with a wiggle of her eyebrows.

“Oh, I’ve definitely got to kiss you now!”

The words were barely out of her mouth before she caught Carmen’s jaw in her hand and kissed her. It was gentle at first, once and then twice in a wordless thank you, before she surged closer and deepened it. Carmen’s hand braced herself on Casey’s hip and when they finally came up for air Casey’s chest was heaving for another reason. There was barely any space between their faces and Carmen felt as much as saw Casey smile again.

“I love you.”

“Right back at you. Now, scoot so we can heat up these tacos. I’ve been drinking margaritas for an hour now and the only thing I’ve had to eat is chips.” Casey shuffled out of the way but kept her arm around Carmen. “Play your cards right and I’ll let you feel me up while the tacos heat.”

“There’s the cherry on top,” Casey replied with a familiar mischievous grin.


	6. Yes, I’m aware. Your point?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Razor x Veronica, original character; motorcycleclub!au

“Jesus Christ,” Sonny swore as his old lady finished telling the story of what had happened. “So you’re telling me, Chase Shaw’s body is in that boathouse?” She nodded and he swore again and shook his head while kicking at the ground.

Nick was eyeing his own old lady contemplatively and Veronica had her gaze fixed on the boathouse in the distance. She shivered and suppressed the sigh she wanted to release. This is what she got for listening to Cameron and not just telling Razor and washing her hands of the whole thing. Now they were all involved, and with the reputation of Discord and Guardianes there was no way law enforcement would even believe that this time they were telling the truth.

She was about to open her mouth to ask what they should do now when Razor suddenly caught her elbow and drew her a ways away. The viselike grip got her attention and she winced and made a face when he finally released her, rubbing the skin. He spared a quick apologetic look and took over rubbing the sensitive skin.

“What were you thinking?” he asked lowly. His hands were gentle on her skin not, but his tone was dark. “Are you—I thought you hated this stuff…and now here you are, with Cameron no less—I don’t even have the energy to tell you how stupid that was—in the middle of the damn woods rescuing kidnapped old ladies that killed the doctor that kidnapped them after stalking one of them!? Veronica!”

It was pretty foolhardy when he laid it all out like that.

“Cameron seemed credible and you were busy,” Veronica answered with a minuscule shrug. “Trust me, I thought I laid out all of the scenarios. The plan was we get here, see if we saw their cars, and if not we’d call you. Which I did. We just didn’t…plan for the whole murdered doctor after kidnapping attempt part…”

“This isn’t a game, Veronica!” Razor exploded as he leaned forward. Veronica glanced back over at the group and found nearly everyone’s eyes on them. Razor lowered his voice at Nick’s quirked eyebrow. “You could have been hurt! Or worse!”

“Yes, I’m aware. Your point?”

“My p—my point is that you should have waited until I was out of church or you should have told Sonny. Don’t go off on your own.”

“I was worried about my friends! It’s what you would have done. It’s what you did,” Veronica reminded him. Apparently the cartel problem was being taken care of thanks to an anonymous source, but Fernando still didn’t have charges brought against him officially. Veronica remembered, in harrowing detail, every moment of the call she got that Razor had been shot and she remembered how young he looked in the hospital bed.

“I’m a fucking criminal, Veronica,” he replied in exasperation. “And I carry a gun!”

“Maybe I should carry one, too,” Veronica answered evenly.

“Or maybe you should leave the yippee ki yay to me and stop putting yourself in harm’s way,” Razor retorted.

She sighed and pursed her lips. His hands were gentle when he drew her into an embrace. A warm kiss pressed against her temple and then her cheek and she wrapped her arms around Razor’s waist between his t-shirt and his kutte.

“You’re a good friend,” he admitted grudgingly. “What am I going to do with you, woman?” 

“You’re stuck with me now, cabron.”

Razor laughed and drew back enough to tilt her face up. He kissed her gently and tucker her hair behind either ear.

“Lucky me.” The words were accompanied with a sarcastic grin, but sincere and tone and Veronica wiggled her nose up at him before letting her cheek fall back against his chest.


	7. No, and that’s final.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny Carisi x Reader

“One more,” Sonny bargained raising a finger in the air.

You shook your head and smiled, but remained firm.

“No, and that’s final.” You closed the squeaky plastic container holding the apple cider donuts and pushed them further back on the counter. “You’re going to ruin your appetite for dinner.”

“I’m a grown man! ’Ruin my appetite’,” Sonny scoffed. You watched as he tried to edge around you, but you blocked his path. “Besides, who cares if I ruin my appetite? I’ll just eat dinner later.”

You braced your hands on his shoulders and began pushing him in the direction of the living room.

“I care,” you stressed, “because when you eat late at night you kick me all night in the bed. Almost bruised my shin the last time you ate bolognese at ten.”

Sonny spluttered but allowed himself to be pushed into a seat on the sofa.

“This is slander” he protested loudly.

“Tell that to my poor shins.” You kicked your legs up into his lap and he dropped his hands to them automatically. “At least wait until after dinner. You get any more sugar in you and you’re going to be on the ceiling.”

“It’s fall! That’s what we’re supposed to eat. I thought it would never get below ninety degrees again.”

“I’m with you there.” You flicked through the channels before stopping on one of the food channels running a Halloween special. “I got sick of being so sweaty. Soup for dinner…then more donuts?”

“And in the meantime, you’ll just torture me with fancy cakes?” he posed rhetorically with a gesture towards the television.

A smile stretched across your face. “Exactly.”


	8. Can you stay?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny Carisi x Miguel Galindo; cartel!au

Miguel pulled the sheet up over Sonny’s torso and worked to keep his expression as neutral as possible. There were minor protests from Sonny, but Miguel batted his hands away gently and tucked them under the sheets. The gun Sonny had been brandishing, at himself at times and at Miguel at other times during the altercation, was now safely out of arm’s reach with its magazine out and round in the chamber ejected. A hushed calm filled the room, but it was the kind when a category five’s eye was sitting on top of you. There was still more hell waiting on the other side.

But, for now, Sonny was halfway to drifting. The sour boozy smell rolling off of him had Miguel wrinkling up his nose and he dodged Sonny’s second attempt to tug him down into the bed.

“Can you stay?” he pleaded. His eyes were wide and for a thick moment, Miguel wanted to say something cruel in response. Something like, ‘I can stay, but you need to get the fuck out of my house.’

He didn’t though, he just nodded. Sonny would be out before he could protest Miguel settling into the chair in the corner rather than sinking into the bed. It was the same chair he’d gotten Sonny to sit in while he held a gun trained on him and asked him leading questions about Emily and accused him of cheating. Big, unshed tears made his eyes glassier than the alcohol and, Miguel suspected, pills and the overall effect had been as alarming as it was infuriating. But no one could say Miguel didn’t know how to keep his cool when he needed to. In the morning Nestor would be furious when he found out.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Miguel said aloud finally. He took another look down at Sonny and his eyes were sliding shut. There was a faint curve of his lips as he turned his face into the pillow. Miguel clenched his jaw and backed away slowly after he was sure Sonny was asleep.

In the morning, Sonny would be gone before he woke up and the gun would still be in its place on the dresser.


	9. There is a certain taste to it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex Cabot x Olivia Benson, Casey Novak x Carmen

“You’ll notice a hint of apricots with pear.”

Alex swirled her glass and then took a sip. On her other side Olivia took a large gulp and then when Casey made a confused face, she choked on laughter and had to hastily swallow. Carmen nodded with a semi-serious expression on her face, but the way she was leaning on the bar and had her hand on Casey’s hip dipping lower and lower told the complete story. In short, they were all well past the point of sober and this wine tasting was for fun more than education.

“There…is a certain taste to it,” Casey agreed to the group after she took a swig. Her cheeks were rosy and she had an open smile on her face every time Carmen leaned in to whisper something in her ear.

“I’m getting the apricot,” Olivia said definitively. She finished the glass and set it down just a little too hard on the wooden counter in front of them. “What’s next?”

Alex looked at her in disbelief and then busted out laughing. She finished her own sample at a slightly slower pace and then slid her glass next to Olivia’s.

“Next needs to be some food,” Carmen said aloud before murmuring something else into Casey’s ear. Casey giggled and leaned more heavily into her girlfriend.

“Ladies, how are we doing down here?”

There was a chorus of “great”, “excellent”, and “learning a lot!” from the women as the next wine was poured.

“Say, you wouldn’t happen to have any bread would you?” Olivia posed before the woman could walk away and continue serving the other people in the tasting group.

The woman shook her head in barely contained amusement.

“We don’t. But as soon as you’re done here you can head to that other room behind you? There’s a mini deli in there and we sell cold food, bread, and drinks.”

Olivia thanked the woman and turned back to the group.

“I’m going to go see if I can find some mixed nuts or something. I’m suddenly starving.”

“Suddenly?” Alex echoed. “And you two are going to get us kicked out if you don’t stop all of that!”

“All of what?” Casey asked as she hastily fixed an innocent expression on her face. Carmen buried her smile in her next sip of wine and Alex just sighed and picked up her own glass.


	10. Listen, I can’t explain it, you’ll have to trust me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny Carisi x Reader, Nick Amaro; motorcycleclub!au highsc hool origins

“Come. I want to show you guys something.”

Sonny opened the car door to toss his bag inside and then closed it and turned to you and Nick with an expectant expression before he started walking back in the direction of the school.

“Uhh…you are walking back towards school,” Nick called.

Sonny just waved his hand around and kept walking. You slid off the hood of the car, pulled Nick down as well, and then took off behind Sonny. He had turned to watch your progress and he was walking backwards down the sidewalk in the direction of the main building. You jogged to catch up to him and he offered his hand. Intertwining your fingers with a small smile he jostled you slightly before shouting over your head at Nick again.

“C’mon, slowpoke!”

“Sonny, it’s been a long day,” you heard him protesting behind you.

“Listen, I can’t explain it, you’ll have to trust me. It’ll only take a minute though, your highness.”

You giggled and shook your head at his prodding while Nick squawked in protest behind you. He finally sped up and passed you and Sonny, pulling open the school doors with an expectant look on his face and sweep of his head.

“Just a little further,” Sonny encouraged. The two of you dodged around a few people still in the hall, keeping your fingers linked, but raised high in the air.

When you finally came to a stop you were in front of the bulletin board by the art rooms. You shot Sonny a quizzical look.

“Look closely.” He pointed at the board and you stepped closer.

Nick’s shoulders were pressed right up against yours as he stepped closer as well. Both of you scanned the board for clues, but it was Nick who found it first. He jabbed a finger at the list for the cast in the upcoming fall play.

“Dominick Carisi, Jr for the part of Tony!?”

“You’re in the fall play!?” you shrieked.

You whirled around and threw your arms around Sonny’s neck.

“Congratulations! That’s so exciting. I didn’t know you were auditioning.”

“Or that you had any interest in being in a play,” Nick added as he slapped Sonny on the shoulder with a smile. “Congrats, man.”

“Well, I didn’t either until I auditioned.” Sonny scratched the back of his head. “As part of extra credit for English, we’re doing the public speaking unit, Mr. Devon said we could audition. It was unlikely we’d get a part, but we would get practice.” Sonny shrugged. “It was actually pretty fun.”

“Wow. That’s really great, Sonny.” Stretching up on your toes you pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Turns out, public speaking doesn’t freak me out when I’m pretending to be someone else. That’s what I really liked, actually—pretending to be someone else. I’m pretty good at it, too.”

“Well, as long as I don’t have to sit through the two of you in Romeo & Juliet—” You reached out to smack Nick and he dodged your hand with a laugh. “—then I’m more than happy for you. Can’t wait to be there every night. I’ll throw flowers at your feet.”

“Um, excuse me. If anyone is going to be Sonny’s groupie, it’ll be me,” you told Nick with a fake frown.

Sonny tugged you back in the direction of the doors with a chuckle.

“There’s plenty of me to go around,” he announced smugly with a spread of his hands. “No need to fight over me.”

“Now he’s going to be insufferable,” you muttered under your breath and both boys laughed in response.


	11. It’s not always like this.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex Cabot x Olivia Benson

“How was your day?”

Olivia pulled her glasses down the bridge of her nose and looked up as Alex let herself into the apartment. It was well into the evening, nearly time for Liv to be in bed, and Alex was just now getting in for the day. Her wife made a face before responding.

“Good.” There was more of the faint grimace before Alex turned and hung her bag on the hook by the door. “You know how it goes. How was yours?”

“Tiring,” Olivia answered honestly with a sigh. “I think the sessions with the trainer are working, though. I felt less winded running after a perp today.”

Alex drifted towards the couch and dropped a kiss on the top of Olivia’s head.

“That’s great, love.”

She continued down the hall and her words were less distinct when she called back to Olivia.

“I think I’m going to turn in. It’s going to be another long day tomorrow.”

“Did you eat?” Olivia called back.

There was a pregnant pause and Olivia took that time to swallow the last sip of her wine and close her book. She flicked off the television that had been on for background noise and pushed to her feet with a weariness born of long days and too many silences where words went unsaid.

“Kind of,” Alex finally answered. “Too tired to even think about food.”

Olivia dropped her glass by the kitchen sink, turned off all of the lights and followed her into the bedroom. She made a humming noise of understanding as she entered the room and watched Alex undress.

“Alex?”

“Yes, love?” Without stopping to turn around, Alex walked towards the bathroom with her dirty clothes in hand.

“Do you miss it?”

“Miss what?” She called back over the sound of running water.

Olivia sighed and bit her lip. After a moment of contemplation, she pressed on. She tossed the book on the bed and walked to the bathroom and leaned against the doorjamb.

“Do you miss what we used to be like?”

“Liv…”

“What? I’m just asking.” Olivia threw her hands up beseechingly and her tone remained light. “We used to be so…close. Even when we didn’t agree. There was a…a something that held this whole thing together and lately it feels not as strong as it used to.”

“It’s not always like this,” Alex said in lieu of answering the question. “We’re still figuring things out.”

“What, on account of you breaking the law for a living now and me still enforcing it?”

Alex switched off the tap and her eyes flashed to Olivia’s face before she turned away and grabbed her hand towel.

“Let’s not do this now, okay? We’re both tired. It’s been a long week.” She closed the distance between them and pecked Olivia on the mouth. “We’ll figure it out.”

“Mmhmm,” Olivia offered her a quick smile before turning to head to bed. She wasn’t so sure, but she was too tired to press further.


	12. What if I don’t see it?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny Carisi x Reader; bonnie&clyde!au

You had fallen asleep alone in the bed, leaving Sonny up to work on a painting in the garage, but you startled awake with a dip in the bed. He looked over his shoulder from where he was perched on the mattress on his side of the bed, no doubt sensing your sudden movements. When you locked eyes he offered you an apologetic smile and gestured for you to lay back down and go to sleep.

“Time’s it?” you slurred, mouth thick with sleep and brain fuzzy. The last trimester had found you especially fatigued and slow in thought, but even through the thick haze of hormones and sleep you could tell Sonny was troubled.

“Don’t worry about it,” Sonny soothed. He twisted to reach over and ran a hand along the side of your face affectionately. “Late. Kinda got in a groove.”

“Okay.” You smacked your lips together and turned into his palm and pressed a soft kiss to his skin. “Coming to bed?”

“In a bit.” He bent down to kiss your forehead and then turned back around and continued shedding layers of clothes.

“Come to bed,” you urged. Rousing yourself more fully you pressed up to lean on an elbow and faced the wide expanse of his back. “Whatever it is, it’ll be there in the morning.”

He made a noncommittal sound and you continued to watch him. The jean shirt he had thrown on to paint was peeled off slowly before being tossed in the chair in the corner. He’d been wearing his half of the necklace recently and you watched as he tugged on it almost absently.

“Sonny?”

When he turned again and saw how awake you were he pulled his legs up on the bed and bundled you into his side. His arms were a welcome weight around your shoulders and you could feel your eyelids getting heavier again.

“Back to sleep,” he said gently as he smoothed out the covers. They rustled in your ear as he made sure to pull them up over your shoulder and you turned your face towards his chest.

“You’re going to be a great father, Sonny.”

He froze for a moment and then continued his ministrations. The only other indication that he had heard you was another quick hum. His hand began stroking your back in long, strong strokes and you fought to say the words he needed to hear before sleep pulled you back under its spell.

“You’re a great man and a great husband. You’ll be a great father,” you repeated.

“Haven’t always been either of those first two…as for the latter…only time will tell.” The words were mumbled and you could sense he wanted you to drop it.

“I see it every day.”

“Yeah? What if I don’t see it?” He sounded so unsure that you peeled your eyes back open and sought his face. It was only when you had made eye contact and he held it that you replied.

“Then I’ll remind you.”

He smiled faintly and nodded and you smiled in response before closing your eyes once more.


	13. I never knew it could be this way.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter Stone x Mike Dodds x Rafael Barba; titanic!au

“How was it?”

Peter brow knit together in a small vee in his forehead as he watched Rafael set his books on the desk designated for studying and other work.

“Tiring,” Rafael answered honestly with a quick tap on the stack of his books. He turned to look at Peter and gave him a small, but genuine, smile. “But rewarding.”

Peter’s concern melted into relief and he returned the smile with one of his own.

“I’m glad. You’ll be done before you know it.”

“Then I can finally help out around here,” Rafael replied wryly with a nod towards the apartment at large.

“Hush,” Peter chastised. “We all play our roles.”

“Speaking of…where is our darling Michael?”

Before Peter could respond there was a jangling at the door and then Mike was entering the apartment and locking the door behind him. He greeted them both as he carefully peeled off his coat and hung it on the coat rack by the door.

“Hi. Sorry, I’m a little late.” He lifted up the dish he had been juggling. “The good news is that I have food.”

He moved towards the kitchen and Rafael was hot on his heels. At a more sedated pace, Peter followed them both.

“From Amanda,” Mike added as he set the dish down. Rafael and Peter exchanged a look. “But cooked by Maria,” Mike added hastily.

“Thank God,” Rafael mumbled in a dark tone. Mike shot him a dirty look and he had the decency to look sheepish for a moment.

“It’ll be good.” Mike crossed over to the sink and washed his hands briskly. “They’re doing well, too,” he said over his shoulder. “Amanda looks so happy.” He turned off the tap and dried his hands as he turned back around. “I never knew it could be this way. After…after everything. I never knew we’d be this okay. More than.” He looked embarrassed and stopped speaking as he turned his gaze to his feet.

“Me either,” Rafael piped up. When Peter gave him a quizzical look he shrugged his shoulders. “We all live together in this very nice apartment. There’s running water and an honest to God bathroom, not some dingy outhouse. Sonny and Nick live together five blocks away. The insurance money from their father’s death has meant Nick and Maria have choices, real choices. We’re happy here. I’m going to become a lawyer,” at that he looked amazed. “Mike is going to be a cop. No one…no one even blinked an eye after we said we wanted to live together after the trauma of—” He closed his mouth with a click and inhaled noisily through his nose and started again. Gently. “We’re happy.”

“We deserve it,” Peter said fiercely in a low voice. “We deserve it all.”


	14. I can’t come back.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny Carisi x Reader; bonnie&clyde!au

Olivia cooed in your dad’s lap as he pulled a face at her. Sonny was a tense line pressed against your shoulder on the loveseat and you leaned against him briefly in an attempt to leech some of the stress from him.

“So, what changed?” your mom asked apropos of nothing as the movie went to commercial break. The snow you could see on the other side of the window was a thick blanket and you stopped halfway from bringing your mug of hot chocolate up to your mouth.

“Huh?” Not the most elegant reply, but you were distracted by the feeling of warmth flooding your body, not just physically, but the emotional relief of being able to see your parents after so long and of bringing Olivia to meet them as well.

“What changed?” you mother repeated. She enunciated each word and you knew your expression was just as confused as you felt. “We spoke on the phone…all those years ago…and you said, you said, ‘mom, I can’t come back.’ So what changed?”

Sonny tensed even more and you bit your bottom lip. The movie started back up, but no one turned their attention to the television.

“Uh…” Your mind raced as you tried to think of something feasible and logical. Everything had been going so well. Everything had been going mostly well and when Sonny had voiced his concerns you’d told him your parents would be so happy to see you that they wouldn’t ask any questions. Apparently, you’d been wrong.

“It was my fault,” Sonny jumped in, as if reading your mind. His voice was rough and he cleared his throat. “I thought it would be too dangerous.”

“Dangerous?” Your mom sounded completely bewildered. “Did something happen?”

A flash of hands grabbing you as you stumbled out the backdoor. Your head was heavy from too much alcohol. There were hands pulling at your shirt. At your pants. They were thick and clumsy—not Sonny’s hands. Sonny. Sonny—where was Sonny?

“No,” you croaked out. You flashed her a soothing smile. “I just…it started off as two dumb kids in love,” that least was the truth. “Then we kind of stumbled into the work and from there it seemed too…hard to come. Dangerous, like Sonny said. It was better if we didn’t have any ties.”

“Right. You’d tell us, but then you’d have to kill us,” your dad finally piped up in a joking tone. He bounced Olivia and his eyes flickered over to you. The lie you’d planted, suggested more like, about joining the FBI was still going strong. Even still, you could tell your dad was not that convinced. Maybe he never had been.

“Something like that,” you answered weakly.

“And now? It’s not still dangerous?”

“We’re kind of…not in that line of work anymore,” Sonny answered.

“We can’t say too much about it…” you added. “But we wanted to have kids so we shifted our focus.”

“And now you can come to visit more? And give me more grandbabies.”

“Whoa!” You threw your hands up in the air in caution with half a laugh. “Slow down there. We’ll try. As often as we can.”

“Well, I’m just glad you finally made the trip,” your mom said. “We missed you.”

You just gave her a smile and concentrated on holding back your tears. If you opened your mouth, you were afraid you’d spill it all. It was better this way, for everyone.

“What about your parents, Sonny? Are you going to visit them as well?” Your mom turned her expectant smile on Sonny.

He seemed startled and you caught the brief glimmer of hope as he straightened.

“Are they here?” he asked eagerly.

Her eyes clouded over and she shook her head and seemed unsure again.

“No…? They left not too long after you two…I just thought, maybe you’d kept in contact?”

Sonny deflated and you slipped your hand into his and squeezed once.

“No. We were—we were never that kind of family,” he mumbled as he slouched back in his seat. Your heart ached.

“Well, we’re your family, too,” you mom forged on with a tentative smile. “And you’re always welcome here.”

You squeezed his hand again and mouthed ‘thank you’ to your mom and she just smiled in response before turning back to the movie.


	15. That’s what I’m talking about!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick Amaro x Reader

“We can’t ignore this,” Nick said lowly.

You concentrated on spooning food into Elijah’s mouth and made a face at him when he licked his lips. He was still the cutest baby you’d ever seen in the entire world and you were desperately happy you had that to focus on as Nick tried to draw you into the conversation again. It wasn’t the first time that day, but so far you’d managed to dodge them all. While you were brushing your teeth, as you got Elijah ready for daycare, while you were cooking dinner and Elijah was playing with toys in his pack and play Nick had tried in futility to apologize, demand you talk, and plead. Nothing had worked. Nothing was working.

“Here comes the airplane, Elijah! Here it comes,” you cooed as you twirled another spoonful of food in the air. He giggled and you grinned.

It felt nice to smile genuinely in place of the plastered on smiles you’d been doling out to all of the adults you’d come into contact with over the last three days. You weren’t fooling anyone and you knew that, but most people had the decency to mind their own business and not pry. The handful of people who hadn’t been so smart had caught on quickly when your mood and tone shifted to be icier than the bridge after a snowstorm. You were furious and the fury was wrapped around you so tightly that you could barely breathe. There was barely any hope of it releasing you and you wanted to feel anything other than anger. But the anger was shielding you from the immense hurt so you clung on to it in a white-knuckled grip.

“What’s there to ignore?” you finally answered Nick breezily. You avoided eye contact with him as you set Elijah’s spoon down and picked up your own fork. “You’ll make your decisions and let Olivia know and then tell me a week later. Let’s just cut out the step where you pretend I get some kind of say.” You stabbed a green bean and brought it to your lips.

“Don’t—!” Nick’s voice rose sharply and you heard Elijah hiccup in surprise.

You flashed a warning look at Nick and caught Elijah’s attention again with a wiggle of your finger against his cheek. He gurgled and squirmed, showing a sunny smile and you wiggled your nose at him. There was sweet potato smeared across his cheeks and you lifted his bib to wipe it away gently.

“Don’t do that,” Nick resumed in the same low voice from before. There was barely contained fury in his voice and your lips curled up in imitation of a smile.

“Do what?” Fluttering your lashes you feigned innocence.

“Act like I tried to hurt you intentionally. I didn’t. You know that. I made a poor choice. Are you going to punish me forever for it by pretending I don’t even exist or are you going to forgive me so that we can move past it?”

“Are those my only two options?” you asked darkly with a glance from beneath your lashes. “I was thinking more along the lines of you giving me some space and time to process. Kind of like the space and time you took before telling me.”

“That’s what I’m talking about! Anything to hurt me, right? Anything to get back at me and feel crappy!? Well, I already feel crappy. I have enough self-loathing and I don’t really need you piling on.” Nick pushed back from the table abruptly and tossed his napkin next to his plate. He bent down and carefully smoothed back Elijah’s dark curls and kissed him on the forehead and avoided your eye.

“I’m going to go for a walk. Don’t wait up.”

He turned on his heel to leave and suddenly, you wanted to fight. You didn’t want to hold back and swallow down how you really felt. You wanted him to know—to really know. And you didn’t want him to leave.

“So that’s it? You’re just going to leave?”

Nick spread his hands with his back turned. “What do you want me to do? You won’t talk to me. You barely look at me. I need to cool down before I say something I regret.”

“I wish you’d just say it instead of being so calm and collected and pretending you have all of the answers!” you hurled at him.

Your eyes slid to Elijah and he was giving you a wide-eyed stare. You spooned more food in his mouth and stood up as well, walking closer to Nick and keeping Elijah within view.

“I don’t have it all together,” Nick grit out. “That’s painfully obvious, I would have thought.”

“I’m so angry,” you said slowly. “I’m so angry I feel like I’ll never feel anything else.”

“I know,” Nick half-turned to look at you. “And I don’t blame you for being angry. I just wish you’d tell me. What do you want to do?”

“I’d like to meet Gil,” you blurted out.

Nick looked surprised and he turned to face you fully. His hands reached for you and then stopped, hovering in the air between you awkwardly.

“Really?”

You nodded. “Really. I’d love to meet him and his mom. I’d love Elijah to know he has a big brother.” Hearing his name Elijah banged on his plastic table and gave you both a toothy grin. You returned it and then turned your gaze to Nick. “I want more time to be angry,” you added softly. Nick looked disappointed. “I’m sorry, Nick. I wish I could just turn it off, but I can’t. There’s so much just…swirling…” you pointed to your head.

“Tell me,” he urged. This time his hands closed the distance between you and he gripped your biceps gently. “Please, just tell me. I can take it. I deserve it.”

“I hate that you told Olivia before me,” you answered honestly. “I hate that I wasn’t your first call or text. I get that there are things about you that I don’t get first dibs on. But this? A decision that impacts our family? Our son?” You shook your head and looked away. “How would you feel if the positions were reversed?”

“Betrayed.”

You met his eye.

“Yeah.”

Turning back around you crossed the room back to your table and continued feeding Elijah not sure if any real progress had been made.


	16. Listen. No, really listen.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny Carisi x Reader

You shot Sonny an amused smile and crossed your ankles in his lap. One of his hands dropped to them automatically and you wiggled your toes and slouched down further against the couch cushions.

“Uh-huh,” you drawled in reluctant agreement.

“Listen. No, really listen. The rain sounds like it’s letting up.”

“That’s what you’ve been saying for the past two days, babe,” you pointed out. “I think we’re stuck with this rain for a little longer.”

Outside the steady patter of raindrops streaked past the window. The sound was muffled behind the closed windows and by being an apartment that had tenants above you. There was no sound of raindrops on a roof, just the repetitive white noise of water whooshing by and wetting the sidewalk and its inhabitants below. You were tired of it, willing to trade gloomy fall days for this, but Sonny even more so.

He grumbled and made a face. “Tired of chasing people in the rain. I slipped and nearly brained myself running after someone today. Thought I was going to end up with a concussion and, sad to say, I was looking forward to it if only to get to spend the day inside rather than damp.”

“I’m sorry.” You made an apologetic face and stretched over to catch his wrist in your grip. “That sucks. We need to get you shoes with better traction.”

“It needs to stop raining,” Sonny said darkly as he shot another reproachful glance towards the window.

“Can’t do anything about that, I’m afraid. But I can heat up some soup and we can make a fort and watch tv and eat it in there,” you replied with a smile.

“Isn’t that a little immature?” he asked, but he was smiling despite himself.

“Absolutely. And we’re mature enough to decide when we want to be immature. So, you in?”

“One hundred percent.”


	17. There is just something about them/her/him.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny Carisi x Carmen

“So…you gonna tell me or am I going to have to beat it out of you?” Fin asked as he sank back against the cushions of the passenger seat.

He and Sonny were on a stakeout outside of a suspected’s perp’s house and so far there had been little activity aside from curtains fluttering. Every time a new person turned on the block Sonny and Fin tensed up and watched anxiously, but so far no one had even looked at the house as they skittered by.

“Come again?”

Sonny picked up his coffee cup and then made a face when it came up empty.

“You’ve been bouncing around with a smile on your face every time you check your phone lately. You’re seeing someone. What really surprises me is that you haven’t said anything to any of us about it.” Fin raised his eyebrow in question and leaned against the window, half turning to eye Sonny. “Listen, I don’t care about people’s personal business, you know that, but if you want to talk…seeing as we have all of this time…” he gestured at the windshield and to the house in question.

Sonny sighed and response and then raised his eyebrow briefly in acknowledgment.

“I…I don’t know. This feels important, you know? Special. I didn’t want to say anything to make it awkward, but…you can keep a secret, right?”

Fin gave him a flat look and Sonny chuckled dryly, glanced out the window and nodded.

“Right. Of course. Carmen and I have been dating for about a month now. I don’t…there is just something about her. We really hit it off and she understands me and my job and vice versa. It’s nice.” Sonny shrugged offhandedly and if there was a little more light in the car Fin would have been able to see how his cheeks had pinked up.

“Carmen as in Barba’s assistant Carmen?” Fin asked with real interest in his voice now. He sat up straighter and gave Sonny a slow once over. “Really?”

“Hey! I’ve got game. Don’t you go doubting me,” Sonny answered with another laugh.

“I’m genuinely speechless,” Fin replied with his mouth half agape. “But you know what man? Congratulations. I’m really happy for you.”

Sonny ducked his head and made an echoing expression before rattling his coffee cup again.

“Think we can convince someone to bring us more coffee? Looks like it’s going to be a long night.”


	18. Secrets? I love secrets.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex Cabot x Female Reader

“You will not guess what I found out today, by the way,” Alex said as the show you were watching went to a commercial break. She brought her wine glass up to her mouth, but it wasn’t enough to hide her pleased smirk.

“Secrets? I love secrets,” you replied eagerly. Her legs were crossed and dangling across your lap and you brought your hand down to rub her shin gently.

“Carisi and Carmen are dating.” She dropped the bombshell and took a sip of her wine.

“Your Carmen!?” you screeched, sitting up straighter and clapping a hand over your mouth in disbelief.

Alex nodded and swirled her wine glass around gently. The incredulous, but the mischievous smile was still on her face as your mind reeled.

“Wow. Sonny Carisi…and Carmen,” you repeated.

“My Carmen,” Alex emphasized. “Sweet, smart, oh so capable and easy-going Carmen with that guy. I don’t know what she sees in him.”

You frowned a little and laughed.

“Well, he is smart and sweet from what I remember from meeting him? What do you have against him?”

“He’s distracting! I’ve caught Carmen with this…look…on her face twice this week. That sappy look people have when they’re thinking about someone else. She’s been swanning around on cloud nine.”

“That’s the look Olivia accused you of having for me that one time,” you reminded her with a tiny smile.

She rolled her eyes and pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose as she looked away. A beautiful rosy hue hugged the top of her cheeks and you smiled broader and leaned over in her direction.

“Ohhh. What’s this look here? Is it the kind of look a person gets when ‘they’re thinking of someone else’?” you teased. She swatted you away and made a clucking noise, but you ignored her and dipped in to kiss her cheek quickly.

“Don’t worry. I get that look all the time,” you said generously. “I’m happy for Carmen. She deserves to be spoiled and happy.”

“I need to find her a nice doctor or something,” Alex replied with a wrinkle of her nose. “Rich and stable.”

“See, now if I had thought that we’d never be married,” you teased.

“I am stable,” Alex disagreed hotly. “Not rich, though,” she added with a slight frown and then a shrug. “But stable and we make do, don’t we?” Her bottom lip was caught in her teeth and she looked unsure.

You tugged it free gently and then leaned in again, this time kissing her on the mouth.

“More than,” you assured her with a whisper. “Maybe for Halloween, you can put a little doctor’s outfit on for me and we can pretend.” You pecked her again and she kissed you firmly before pulling away.

“Or I can just make a bikini out of fake money and then carry a stethoscope,” she replied dryly.

“Even better!” you cheered. When she made a face you laughed and kissed her again. “Of course, that outfit would have to be for my eyes only, counselor.”


	19. Yes, I admit it, you were right.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick Amaro x Reader

There was soothing and warm feeling settled over the apartment and as you glanced over at Nick he had a small smile on his face as he swirled his fork in his pasta. It made you happy to see him so pleased and under the table, you caught his ankle between yours. When he looked over at you his smile grew and you gave him an expectant look.

“So…how was it!?” The words you’d been desperately holding in since he had arrived at home had finally broken through. Today had been his first day as acting sergeant and you were practically buzzing with excitement.

“It was…it was really good,” Nick responded with an upward curl of his lips. He wiped his mouth with his napkin and leaned his forearm on the table and went on. “Liv and I had to meet a victim at the hospital,” at this, his lips took on a downturn, “and the first time she said “this is my sergeant” I almost turned around expecting Fin to be there or something before she finished her sentence and said my name.” He scrubbed a hand over his face and the happy smile was back. “It was surreal.”

“Aww,” you cooed as you reached across the table to grasp his arm. “That’s so exciting. I’m so happy for you, baby. And the rest of the day went okay?”

“Yeah…I mean, there is more paperwork and definitely more responsibility and pressure, but it wasn’t as overwhelming as I thought it would be…Yes, I admit it, you were right. I guess I was more ready than I thought.”

The legs of the table scraped the floor as you cheered and pushed back in order to come around the table to drop in his lap. He made space for you automatically and steadied you with a hand on your lower back as you threw your arms around his shoulders. When you leaned down for a kiss your mouth was still curled up in a smile.


	20. You could talk about it, you know?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny Carisi x Reader

You kissed your way down Sonny’s neck, but your efforts were for naught. Under you, he was somewhat enthusiastic but mostly distracted. He’d been distracted for over a week now, with you and Giorgia physically when he was home, but with his mind a million miles away. A warm hand curved over your hip and lower back, but when you ground against him there was nothing. There was no warmth beyond his physical body temperature and an automatic low thrum of desire.

With a bitten back sigh, you stopped abruptly, pulling out of his grip and climbing back over to your side of the bed. You fell back against the sheets with a soft exhalation through your nose and pressed your lips together, rolling them in an attempt to think before you spoke. Sonny for his part looked surprised and his mouth was half-open when you cut him off. You didn’t want to hear an apology (you had a feeling it would come with a made-up explanation) and you had no desire for him to fake it and go through the motions.

“You could talk about it, you know?” you settled on saying in the closest thing you could manage to an even tone. Sonny’s brow crinkled in confusion and you waved a hand towards him. “Whatever it is that has you…somewhere else. You’ve been distant for over a week now. I was trying to give you your space…but I’m starting to take it a little personally, Sonny.”

You crossed your arms over your chest and shrank down in the bed. The tank top you’d worn to bed had been discarded several moments ago and you didn’t feel like doing some kind of awkward shuffle to find it and tug it back on. It was clear by the way Sonny was only half-hard and barely touched you that things were not progressing in that way tonight. Your arousal had long since been killed by his lack of enthusiasm and in its place was frustration and embarrassment.

“I’m sorry, doll,” he apologized immediately. His eyes were a clear, guileless blue and you could tell that he meant it. When he turned on his side and reached for you it seemed less automatic and more intentional. “It’s not you. I swear. Or Gigi or anything else like that. I’m sorry about…” he lifted his hand to wave in the general direction of his crotch and you nodded slowly in response.

“If there’s anything I could do to help….you just have to tell me. I can tell there’s a lot on your mind.”

“It’s—” he cut himself off with a sigh and leaned over to rest his head in the juncture of your neck. Your hand came up automatically to scratch at the hair at the base of his neck and you felt him relax against you. “Just thinking…With Giorgia going to be in kindergarten I’ve been wondering if I should try to…do something else. My job is dangerous, I’ve always known that, but I don’t want to miss any of her milestones because I’m injured or worse.”

Your mind flashed back to the previous week when he’d come home with a twisted ankle and bruised hip from slipping and falling while in pursuit of a perp over a wall. He’d caught the guy, but he’d been limping and on desk duty for three days afterward. It was one in a long string of similar incidents and Giorgia always got a little furrow between her brow that echoed her dad when he came home in less than perfect condition.

“Something else like what?” you asked curiously. You’d never imagined Sonny would leave Manhattan SVU, especially after he’d worked so hard to get there. The thought of him at a boring office job was tough to reconcile in your brain and you knew he’d be safe, but miserable.

“Uhh…well…” he stalled and tensed back up slightly. You urged him to lift his head to face you and the familiar trepidation you’d seen on his face for days was now back.

“Tell me,” you said quietly as you studied his face. “You know I’ll support you no matter what.”

Sonny gave you a half-smile and ducked in to press a dry kiss to your mouth. He sighed and then spoke again.

“There’s going to be an opening at the ADA’s office.”


	21. Change is annoyingly difficult.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny Carisi x Reader; motorcycleclub!au

With one last groan, Sonny rolled off of you and onto his back on the bed beside you. Your breath was coming in quick bursts, but you still rolled up to a seat as soon as he was done. This wasn’t like the last huge fight when you and Sonny had been sleeping in separate rooms and hadn’t had sex in weeks. The sex was still a constant this time, but it wasn’t the same. Sure, you both came, but there was little to no kissing. No afterglow cuddling. No sweet words. No hidden smiles. It was fast and rough, like an argument without words. You slid to your feet and padded to the bathroom in search of a damp washcloth.

You could hear Sonny in the bed if you concentrated over the sound of running water. The mattress creaked, both of you had been talking of getting a new one for a while now, and you could tell when he got to his feet as well. You looked heavenward momentarily and tossed the washcloth back in the sink to rinse it out. It was as you were hanging it up on a hook that he came up behind you. His presence was like a heavy shadow and you didn’t even have to turn around to picture his body language.

“How long are you going to stay mad at me?”

“I didn’t set a timer,” you grit out before turning and brushing by him. He followed behind you on your heels as you scooped up your t-shirt and pulled it over your head.

“Talk to me,” he demanded. His voice was rough and stern, the one he used on club members and prospects alike, and when he grasped your arm to spin you around to face him you whipped out of his grip brusquely.

“Don’t talk to me like I’m a fucking prospect,” you hissed between a clenched jaw. You jabbed a finger up in his face. “In this house and in this relationship—when it doesn’t have anything to do with club shit—” a humorless smile crossed your face, “you can’t tell me what to do.”

“So you’re never going to speak to me?”

“So,” you drew out the word and took a step back. His eyes darkened as he followed your every move. “So, I’m going to be angry until I’m not.”

“I just want what’s best for the club,” he tried.

“And your ego,” you muttered under your breath half turning away. “I listened, didn’t I? Obeyed like a good old lady?” you sang the words sarcastically. “But consider this, Sonny, what’s good for the club isn’t necessarily good for this relationship.”

He looked taken aback and steeled himself again and took a step towards you. His hands were out in what you thought was supposed to be a calming gesture.

“Change is difficult, I know,” he replied in a weird tone. “But it’s what’s best for everything.”

“Don’t give me some, ‘change is annoyingly difficult’ bullshit, Sonny,” you dismissed with a shake of your head. You walked around him for the second time. “I’m going to sleep in the guest room. I don’t have the energy for this.”

His steps dogged yours and he gripped your shoulder to whirl you around again.

“This?” he echoed as he leaned down into your face. “This is because you lied to me!”

“No, Sonny,” you corrected as you shook off his hand, “this is because we’ve been traumatized and we needed a sense that someone understood what we were going through.”

“You were supposed to have the prospect with you!” he yelled as his hand chopped the air. His chest was heaving and he looked angry, but underneath it was fear. It was no match for your fear when you’d been taken, the nightmares you still had that he didn’t even know about. 

“You were supposed to take care of AB,” you countered seething. “And Nick was supposed to take care of his cartel whatever shit. And Matty should still be alive and I should still have my pinky and old ladies shouldn’t feel like every other goddamn minute we may be snatched up for collateral,” you tossed in his face in a dangerous voice. He looked shocked, but you didn’t care. “And we—you and I—we were supposed to be a team.”

Sonny’s shoulder sagged and he stumbled backward until the back of his knees hit the bed. He sat on it heavily and raked a hand through his hair. You watched as he pulled his bottom lip into his mouth.

“Are you leaving me?” he asked quietly.

You snorted in disbelief and choked out dry laughter.

“Don’t pull that manipulative shit, Sonny. This is starting to feel too familiar.”

“Manipulative? How is it manipulative to ask you that when you just said—”

“If I was leaving, I’d be gone and you know that. And I know you know that. No, what you want is the reassurances and the pussy and feeling self-righteous. You can have the last two, but don’t ask me to stroke your fucking ego as well.” You turned and walked into the hall before turning to look at him over your shoulder. “Oh, and pro-tip? If you don’t want me to be mad, maybe you should try sympathizing and apologizing. Good night.”

With that you turned your heel, stalked into the guest room and let the door slam shut behind you.


	22. We could have a chance.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny Carisi x Miguel Galindo, cartel!au

The gun sat on the coffee table next to them. Miguel had sat next to Sonny on the couch rather than the adjacent chair, but Sonny didn’t feel as warmed by the gesture and he usually would. He avoided looking at the gun, choosing to let his gaze flit all over the room instead. It landed on Peter in one corner, Nestor in the other, what he could see of the kitchen, the set of Miguel’s jaw and then finally his hands where his fingers twisted in his lap. He had a bad feeling about this.

“Pick up the gun,” Miguel said in a quiet, calm voice as he readjusted his vest.

Sonny recoiled as if Miguel had yelled and shook his head. The very last thing he ever wanted to do was look at that gun, let alone pick it up. When he closed his eyes at night he could still see himself brandishing it at Miguel. He could feel the fury, and fear, a cold pit in his stomach as he asked him question after question. Peter had warned him about spying on Miguel, had warned him that Miguel wasn’t cheating on him, but alcohol and pills had mixed a dangerous cocktail. Even in the midday sun streaming in through the big glass walls behind him, Sonny felt a cool, ominous weight pressing him down into the supple couch cushions.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. He licked his bottom lips and lifted his eyes to Miguel’s jaw. “Mikey, I’m sorry. I never should have—I wasn’t thinking right. I was fucked up. It’ll never— I’d never—”

“Pick up the fucking gun, Sonny,” Miguel interrupted his rambling. Now there was more steel in his voice, but Sonny still refused.

“I’m not picking up that—”

Miguel’s arm whipped out, scooped it up and then pressed the muzzle to his chest in one abrupt motion. The energy in the mood shifted immediately, raising from a low thrum to a loud buzz as Nestor made a noise and Peter rushed forward. They stopped several feet away, Nestor’s mouth saying something in low, urgent Spanish and Peter urging Sonny to his feet, but they both went ignored. Sonny’s eyes were glued on Miguel’s face, open in shock and protest.

Miguel reached for Sonny’s hand next and forced it out of his lap and onto the gun, wrapping his fingers around his own hand and forcing him to stay put.

“How does this make you feel, Sonny?” Miguel asked in that infuriating calm voice. There was a mask of contemptuous fury on his face. “How do you feel now, holding a gun on me? Do you want to ask me more questions about Emily? Want to accuse me of something?”

Sonny shook his head frantically, afraid to try to yank his group out of Miguel’s and afraid to hold on.

“No, I don—”

“If you want to threaten me, do it now. Do it right fucking now. Because we could have a chance, but not if this keeps up. This keeps up and one of us will end up dead, one way or another. Let’s cut the middleman. Do it now or don’t ever fucking pull that stunt again,” Miguel threatened. His brows were pulled down in an angry vee and he didn’t appear to even hear Nestor whose voice had now risen.

“I’m sorry,” Sonny repeated helplessly. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

Miguel released his hand and dropped his own, setting the gun back on the coffee table. Peter and Nestor both reached for it and there was a mild scuffle between them before Nestor picked it up and tucked it in his waistband with a glare.

“Now I believe you are.” Miguel got to his feet and adjusted his shirt cuffs. “Remember how it feels to hold a gun on the person you love the next time you get some fucked up idea in your head. I’ve got business to attend to. You know the way out.”

Without another word, he turned on his heel and stalked off in the direction of his office. Nestor followed behind him closely and jerked his head at the guard by the front door. Peter’s mouth had an angry set to it as he yanked Sonny up to his feet.

“Wait,” Sonny said. Everyone froze, but Miguel didn’t turn around. He set his own jaw and forged on. “You forgot something.”

Miguel turned now and Sonny strode over to him on legs that felt like jelly. He hoped he looked more determined than he felt.

“What’s that?” Miguel asked with an arch of his eyebrow.

Sonny closed the space between them, caught Miguel’s jaw in his hands and pressed a hard, biting kiss to his mouth.

“This.”


	23. You can’t give more than yourself.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Razor x Veronica; motorcycleclub!au

“Shit,” Razor cursed emphatically as he pulled his boots off and let them fall to the ground with a thump. Veronica shot him a sympathetic look and nabbed the remote in order to mute the television as she looked over at him. He scrubbed a hand over his face and adjusted his socks before padding over to the couch and falling against her lap in a heap.

“Didn’t go well?” she asked as she dropped a hand to his hair and began carding her hands through it.

“It went as well as it could,” Razor mumbled from behind the arm he’d thrown over his face. “I’m tired,“ he added with such conviction she could almost taste his fatigue.

“ You can’t give more than yourself,” she reminded him gently. “You have to take care of yourself first.”

At that, he sat up and shook his head with a clenched jaw. He caught her eye and used his hand to gesture.

“I can’t do that. Nick is in jail. I’m VP. I have to keep the club together, make sure stuff with the parlor is still straight…and I’m still not a hundred percent sure what this deal is he’s signed. He keeps saying it’ll work out, but not how.” He paused and tugged at his beard. It was longer than she’d ever seen it in their relationship rather than the just past five o’clock shadow he usually sported.

“Tell me what I can do,” she urged him with big, sympathetic eyes. “What can I do?”

“Just…” he trailed off and he sagged and dropped his head back into her lap. “Just be here. That’s all I need—you to come home to.”


	24. Patience… is not something I’m known for.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny Carisi x Nick Amaro; underworld!au

Sonny groaned as Nick skimmed his hands over his ribs again. The pace they were moving at was glacial, but Sonny had agreed to cede control to Nick so he had no choice but to follow his lead. He longed to buck his hips up and press Nick down into the mattress, but he hated to disappoint Nick. It was clear that he was enjoying having the upper hand.

“Patience,” Nick murmured in between kisses. His hands were vice-like around Sonny’s wrists, the suppleness of his skin no surprise, but the steel grip was one. There was unexpected strength contained in him, like roots that went deep and deeper still.

“Patience… is not something I’m known for,” Sonny squeezed out.

His eyes were mostly closed, only a glimmer of shifting blue peeked under the lids. Nick smiled into the next kiss and licked along the seam of his mouth. The aroma of night-blooming jasmine, heady and thick, seemed to waft off of him even though he hadn’t been topside in months now.

“You don’t have a choice,” Nick replied. His voice was playful, but his grip remained firm. “All good things bloom in their time. And not a minute before.”


	25. I could really eat something.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny Carisi x Nick Amaro; Halloween theme

Nick stretched as best he could with Sonny laying on him.

“I think you’ve gotten heavier,” he complained even as he laced his arms around Sonny’s lower back.

Sonny snorted into his neck and pressed a kiss there that had just a few too many sharp teeth before retreating.

“I’ve been the same weight for one hundred and seventeen years,” he replied in dry amusement.

“You look so good for such an old guy, too,” Nick teased with a poke to his side. Sonny squirmed a bit before settling back down and Nick spoke again. “Do you really always weigh the same? Even after you…you know…eat?” He gestured vaguely with one hand.

Sonny chuckled and pushed up a bit to rest his elbows on Nick’s chest.

“I think? I don’t know. I’ve never weighed myself. We could try it, though. I could really eat something.” He said the last line with a toothy smile and Nick watched as his fangs slowly slid down.

Nick leaned up to kiss him, letting his own teeth sharpen and his forehead protrude as hair began to sprout along his ears. Two could play this game.

“That makes two of us,” Nick lisped. “Could use a snack break before the next round.”

“I’ll show you a snack break,” Sonny mumbled before flipping them off the couch and onto the floor as he switched their positions. He broke Nick’s fall but didn’t even hesitate before he was licking back into Nick’s mouth and letting his fingers stroke through the now furred pointy ears on either side of his head.

It was a long time before they came up for air again.


	26. You keep me warm.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny Carisi x Reader; Halloween theme

You dodged around people getting off of the train and shivered as you headed towards the station’s step. It was a cool night, cool enough that with the breeze blowing it felt crisp and cold, but you were still excited to be out. Alex and Olivia’s Halloween party was legendary by this point and you had been looking forward to it for weeks.

“I hate to admit it…but I think you were right,” you said begrudgingly to Sonny as he took your hand as the two of you exited onto the street. You shivered again and pressed against his side. “It is seriously not warm enough for my outfit.”

“See, if you had dressed up like Robin you’d be in layers and you’d have a cape.”

You glanced up at Sonny and scrunched up your nose at him, barely suppressing the desire to stick out your tongue. Only the bottom half of his face was apparent and every time a kid walked by they stared at him with wide-eyed wonder. Some of the teenagers and adults did, too.

“True…but I have you to keep me warm,” you replied with an angelic smile. “My hero.”

“Always,” Sonny replied in a growl worthy of Bruce Wayne. “Although…I think that’s a little our of character considering Batman’s relationship with Poison Ivy…being enemies and all.”

“Pfft.” You waved your hand around. “It’s all a matter of perspective. Besides, haven’t you heard of fanfiction? We can choose how our story ends, my love.”


	27. Can you wait for me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick Amaro x Reader; Halloween theme

“Okay. I’m ready, let’s go,” Yanara announced as she traipsed down the hallway with her reusable tote bag in hand. She had the helmet of her astronaut’s costume under her arm and you had a feeling it was going to end up in the bag intended to hold the candy or being carried by you or Nick.

“Hello—can you wait for me?” Nick called down the hall with barely disguised disbelief.

You had to hold back a giggle at that as Elijah ignored all of you in favor of watching the television. This year he was a firefighter and his hat was pushed to the back of his head so it looked like a halo in one of those Renaissance paintings. The only sign of impatience from him was his jiggling legs.

Yanara just sighed in response and you walked over to her to push her hair back and refasten the barrette that was attempting to hold the curls away from her face and in the direction of the bun you’d given her.

“It’s still early, my love,” you reminded her gently as your fingers strayed to her chin and tilted her head up to look at you.

“But all the good candy will be gone,” she protested with a disgruntled scrunch of her face.

“Not hardly,” you replied in a dry voice. “And patience is a virtue.”

She grumbled something else under her breath and you let it go. Just in time, Nick turned the corner and came down the hallway. He had the small felt mask over his eyes and a blousy black shirt that made you giggle like a schoolgirl every time you saw it. Zorro was low effort, as far as costumes went, but it made a big impact.

“Okay. What are we waiting for? Let’s go!” he announced with a clap of his hands.

Elijah jumped up and flicked the television off as Yanara thundered to the door, you behind them with a small smile and a wink aimed in Nick’s direction.


	28. Enough! I heard enough.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No pairing; Halloween theme

“So, although there was a verbal ‘yes’, it was coerced as a result of the potion and therefore not truly consent,” Sonny finished with a snap to close the folder in his hand. He used it to gesture to the suspect on the other side of the glass. “And, of course, this is not this guy’s first time. We’ve got a slew of victims already, with others calling in…”

“Enough! I heard enough.” Alex massaged her temples and Olivia shot her a concerned look that she waved away. 

“What happened to all of the warlocks who just sold phony love potions that were really just herbal tea? I swear Halloween weekend is the busiest weekend and…how stereotypical can you get?” She sighed and hefted her briefcase. 

“Let me know when his lawyer arrives. Who’s next?”


	29. I’m doing this for you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny Carisi x Reader; Halloween theme

“Gigi, smile at daddy! Smile at daddy, Gigi!” Sonny coaxed as you bounced her in front of you.

Giorgia was doing everything but give Sonny the smile he wanted as she alternated between chewing on the red ‘crop top’ on the outer layer of her costume and squishing her jar of ‘honey’. She was the most elaborately dressed out of the three of you, with you and Sonny wearing character inspired onesie pajamas. Sonny tried flipping his hood up and bouncing on his toes, but Giorgia was still most interested in what was in her hands versus in front of her.

“Let’s just take a group shot with the tripod and be on our way,” you suggested. “I don’t think out little model feels much like following directions today.”

Sonny sighed a little and nodded in agreement. The tripod was already set-up, so all he had to do was affix the camera to the top of it and frame the photo. You took that time to try to wipe some of the drool from around Giorgia’s face and when she latched onto your finger you laughed and ran it up and down over her lips.

“I’m doing this for you, Gi,” Sonny pretended to scold as he walked towards the two of you and took his place beside you. “One day you’re going to want to see what you dressed up like for your first Halloween.”

“She’ll appreciate it when she’s grown,” you assured him.

“Yeah, we’ll see. At least we get to wear pajamas.”

“Good point. We’ll be the warmest and most comfortable people at the party.”

“Very true. Alright, everyone look at the camera. On three. One…two…”


	30. I’m with you, you know that.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick Amaro x Reader; Halloween theme

A howl went up into the air and was soon joined by others. It created a rolling melody, a call to run and to celebrate. The air was crisp and cool and as the sun continued to set rapidly the shadows in the forest grew darker and taller.

“You ready for this?” you murmured to Nick.

The last of the days sun caught against the dampness of his chest and he appeared to glow for a moment before the sun continued sliding behind the trees. You were dressed similarly for the run, minimal clothing and no shoes. As you shifted, your hearing and vision improved dramatically.

“It’s a lot of pressure,” he breathed in response, just barely above a whisper. It was the first time he was leading the Hallow’s Eve run for the pack, but it was more than overdue. He would be the alpha Nicolas never was and always wanted to be.

“I’m with you, you know that.” You let your hand slip into his and squeezed for a moment before releasing him and taking a step to the side. “This is your moment, alpha.”

A glimmer of white teeth flashed as Nick smiled before growing serious once more. The red glow of his eyes pierced the inky dusk. He nodded and then threw his head back and howled, the loudest one yet. In response, the air crackled with energy as the song lifted and grew, rising high above the trees and welcoming the moon as the sun vanished.


	31. Scared, me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny Carisi x Reader; Halloween theme

“If you get scared, I’ll hold your hand,” Sonny offered as the two of you settled back on the couch with snacks in hand.

“Scared, me?” You laughed and shook your head. The aroma of cinnamon and apples wafted up into your face from the mug in your hand and you paused to take a sip of the spiked cider. “These movies aren’t really scary.”

“That’s why you spend half the time with your face hidden in my shoulder?” Sonny asked in amusement. He flicked the television on and paged through the screens in order to get the first movie queued.

“Excuse me, what if I do that just because I want an excuse to cuddle up to you?” You wiggled your eyebrows. “Ever think of that?”

Sonny lifted his arm and draped it over your shoulder to pull you snuggly against his side. He dropped a warm kiss to your temple and you buried your pleased smile in your mug.

“The thought had crossed my mind.”

When you glanced up at him he was smiling and you strained to catch him in a kiss before he took pity on you and leaned down to better close the distance. It was only when you accidentally sloshed the cider over your hand that the two of you came up for air. Sonny gripped the offended hand and blew on it before licking the cider off with a practiced sensual look.

“Baby,” you whined. “Movie.”

“Mmhmm. It’s not going anywhere. Besides, making out while a 90s teen scary movie plays in the background is just honoring the source material.”

With that, he plucked the mug from your hand, pressed play on the remote, and pressed you back into the couch as you laughed.

**Author's Note:**

> come say hello over on tumblr! find me @carisi-dreams.


End file.
